Stealth VMP Shirt


If you also want a crass registered corporate logo shirt, we’ve got our for-the-masses $10 Meh shirts over here. And if you’re all in on supporting the Mediocre empire, grab both.

Our new VMP forum badge is barely a month old, and it’s already universally recognized as a mark of excellence, an assurance of quality, a testament to the bearer’s noble character and pure heart. And now you can wear that heart on your sleeve for all to see—literally!

Except by “sleeve” we mean “chest.” And by “your heart” we mean “that VMP badge icon.” And by “for all to see” we mean “faintly visible in the right light.”

We’re talking about the new stealth VMP t-shirt, available through 10am Eastern time Monday for a cold hard American buck (Canadian loonies not accepted)! It’s black ink on a black American Apparel tee, the way the players play, with a URL hidden on the inside of the front bottom hem. It’s precision engineered to display your VMP cred to those in the know while hiding your shame from the outsiders who resent and fear our kind.

If you thought being a Very Mediocre Person meant you couldn’t get any more Mediocre, you’ve got another shrug coming! Not that any of this makes any difference anyway, in the long run.


  • Printed on American Apparel model Men’s 2001 and Women’s 2102
  • Black-on-black VMP badge on the chest, “” printed on the inside of the front bottom hem for optimal intimacy
  • For VMP members only, as if anybody else would want it
  • Sizing runs on the small side, so size up if you’re not used to American Apparel sizing
  • Women’s sizes are especially small: definitely go up a size or buy a men’s size
  • Shape conforms to most standard human torsos
  • Offer expires at Monday, December 14th, 9am eastern time, 2015 A.D.
  • You’ll get your shirt by January 1st to start the new year in style or something
Full product specs >