Mediocre Deals of the Month, December 2013

JasonToon thought this was worth mentioning said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 1:30pm ET

Since we can't buy any deals from Mediocre.com yet, let's start a monthly tradition sharing the most small-m mediocre deals from elsewhere on the web.

I don't mean the "crazy crap on Amazon" stuff in the Tuscan whole milk/uranium ore/etc. vein.

I'm talking about a combination of uninspiring product, underwhelming discount (or "free" bonus), and unjustified hype. When I was a kid I saw a big obnoxious newspaper coupon for a free hot dog and Coke with every purchase of a set of brand-new tires. That's a mediocre deal.

Post 'em! Star 'em! And yea, verily, on December 31 we shall anoint the ultimate mediocre deal on the web this holiday shopping season!

17 comments, 10 replies
Comment

JasonToon said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 1:32pm ET:

I'll start. Groupon Goods is asking 35 bucks for a few Ghirardelli chocolate bars. Oh, but they're in a "Sapphire gift box with an iridescent bow".

http://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-ghirardelli-party-gift-box

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- I added up the prices for the chocolate from Ghirardelli's site: $28.09. That box better be made of real sapphires.
  
  JasonToon said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 1:43pm ET
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dave said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 3:14pm ET:

I saw this elsewhere, but City Sports had a Cyber Monday sale where "Everything is 30% Off!" and then had this insanely long disclaimer:

*Orders can be shipped to the U.S. only. The Cyber Monday City Sports Promotion is activated online by entering CYBER30 during checkout. Offer is not valid on Clearance or Sale items that end in $.00 The following vendors and styles are excluded from all City Sports Promotions and Discounts: all full-priced footwear from Brooks, Mizuno, New Balance and Saucony. Select Nike Footwear (Nike Free 5.0+, All Nike Tennis Footwear). Select Nike apparel (Legends Tees, Pro Apparel, All Nike Tennis Apparel). Select ASICS footwear (Gel-Kinsei, GEL-Kayano, GT-2000, GT-1000 2, Nimbus 15, Cumulus 15, Noosa Tri 8, GEL-Excel33 2, GEL-Lyte33 2, GEL-Resolution, GEL-Solution), select adidas (Barricade, Copa Mundial, Boost, adidas Originals, adidas Springblade, adidas Sequence 6). All Babolat, Burton, Wilson, Head, UGG, Patagonia, C.E.P., Garmin, Feetures, FitBit, Spyder, Marmot, Merrell, Moving Comfort, The North Face, Thorlo, Timberland (6" Wheat Boot), TomTom, Tevasphere, TOPO, Under Armour and GoPro. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer, applied to past purchases, redeemed for cash equivalent or used to purchase gift cards. Offer cannot be combined with the City Sports employee discount. City Sports reserves the right to cancel this offer at any time, and to cancel orders arising from pricing, technical or other errors. All returns are subject to City Sports' Return/Exchange Policy Guidelines. Usage is subject to credit approval and product availability.

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- Ha! Not valid on items that end in $.00
  
  shawn said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 4:47pm ET
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- And you can only order before Tuesday, unless the month ends in "Y", and then it has to be before the full moon during winter.
  
  barnabee said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 4:56pm ET
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- Toys/Babies R Us has those sort of disclaimers on all of their coupons. it'd be easier to list what it is valid for.
  
  medz said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 7:00pm ET
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- I'm assuming from context that the only items that end in .00 are sale and clearance items
  
  spitfire6006006 said Thu, Dec 5th 2013 at 4:57am ET
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chill said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 5:39pm ET:

Is it too early to call me the winner with this link to an awesome Justin Bieber tote bag with purchase?
http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=xlsImpprod5780190

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denboy said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 5:44pm ET:

Walmart had McAfee Total Protection Solution Plus PC virus protection for $9.99 on black Friday. They were saying it was a savings of $60. Seemingly a great deal except computers already come with better and cheaper protection. Maybe this qualifies as the useless sale of the season.

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chill said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 5:44pm ET:

...or...check this out, if you spend over $75 these folks will send you your choice of amazing stuff, like a gym towel, a funnel (yes really,) or a silicon wrist band. Spend over $150 and you can pick from a lovely variety of free water bottles or other dollar store crap.
https://www.bodybuilding.com/store/freegift.htm

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medz said Wed, Dec 4th 2013 at 6:04pm ET:

Plenty of furniture stores will give you a free off-brand TV when you spend a few thousands of dollars. Never mind the fact the TV is worth 5% or less of your total purchase.

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ConAndLibrarian said Thu, Dec 5th 2013 at 6:36pm ET:

Receive a Precision Adapter with any $395 me smooth Hair Removal Device purchase. A $50 value.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/beauty-gifts-with-purchase

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dave said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 10:54am ET:

For all I know, this thing's for real, but it stinks of BS, so I'm submitting it as a mediocre deal:

35% off a lamp & 10 pounds of Himalayan Salt, and, oh also it emits ions.

"feel your stress dissipate as the negative ions counteract the electromagnetic fields bouncing off the computer"

Though, of course, with the necessary disclaimer: the statements enclosed herein have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The products mentioned on this site are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Information and statements made are for education purposes and are not intended to replace the advice of your family doctor.

I have to say, I think our #seligman lava lamps are more likely to reduce stress.

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carl669 said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 12:42pm ET:

$14.99 - My Little Pony Equestria Girls Rainbow Dash Hairstyling Doll

not only is this mediocre, but i find the doll itself incredibly creepy:

http://www.amazon.com/My-Little-Pony-Equestria-Hairstyling/dp/B00CANI9RQ

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dave said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 2:30pm ET:

Now at Amazon! On a few wines, if you buy enough wine, and you live in a state that they ship to, then they will agree to build the shipping costs into the price of the wine.

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carl669 said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 3:24pm ET:

ok...these are awesomely mediocre:

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/electric-friends-izzy-the-unicorn-mini-speaker/1585363.p?id=1219056363846&skuId=1585363

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JasonToon said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 4:58pm ET:

@carl669, Ugh, all of that Equestria Girls stuff is terrible. Not only is it creepy-looking, but it seems to cater to that subsection of "bronies" who wish the ponies were girls they could get freaky with. Yuck.

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- Better than getting freaky with them if they were ponies. Double yuck.
  
  Ignorant said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 5:13pm ET
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carl669 said Fri, Dec 6th 2013 at 5:11pm ET:

@JasonToon, i've never heard of 'bronies' and am now thoroughly freaked out.

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JasonToon said Tue, Dec 10th 2013 at 4:27pm ET:

This whole thread turned into a parade of human despair. Nice work, everybody! Keep 'em coming!

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medz said Tue, Dec 10th 2013 at 5:30pm ET:

Even worse than the free crappy TV with furniture deal: Buy a mattress and get a free plush sheep! http://www.sleepys.com/wcsstore/Sleepys/upload/Sleepys_Free_Sheep_Coupon.pdf

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- Hey! I have one of those. Are you making fun of my sheep ?
  
  ceagee said Tue, Dec 10th 2013 at 10:03pm ET
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- well, no. as far as stuffed sheep go, they're pretty righteous. did you buy a matress specifically for the sheep?
  
  medz said Tue, Dec 10th 2013 at 10:27pm ET
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dave said Tue, Dec 10th 2013 at 5:34pm ET:

You know what I want to think about when I'm considering getting eye surgery? That you'll cut me a deal and make it half-off (pardon the puns). http://www.groupon.com/deals/shady-grove-ophthalmology-4

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- I love that the name of the doctor's office has "Shady" in the title.
  
  hales said Thu, Dec 12th 2013 at 10:32am ET
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- location, location, location
  
  danelectro said Thu, Dec 12th 2013 at 4:29pm ET
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JasonToon said Mon, Jan 6th 2014 at 7:14pm ET:

Well gosh, this is embarrassing... by one vote, the winner is the profoundly unmoving Ghirardelli chocolate deal I posted from Groupon!

Let this be a lesson to all of you who thought Dave's "Amazon wine shipping for a penny" deal was even more mediocre, but didn't bother to vote: one vote can make a difference.

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